When Hopin’ Ends, the Healin’ Begins

Dusty Springfield sang a song in the early 60’s called "Wishin’ and Hopin.’" The chorus went like this: Wishin' and hopin' and thinkin' and prayin' Plannin' and dreamin' each night of his charms That won't get you into his arms Clinging to Hope … [Read more...]

5 Tips to Support Your Friend Going Through a Divorce

Eight years. That’s the average length of a first marriage that ends in divorce. The actual statistics are that 41% of first marriages, 60% of second marriages, and 73% of third marriages end in divorce. So, chances are, you have co-workers, friends, … [Read more...]

An Unexpected Source of Healing in Divorce

Summer solstice is the longest day of light and has become the symbol of renewal and new beginnings. It is nature’s way of telling us that the long, dark days of winter do end. The cycle of dark and light is as old as biblical stories. This timeless, … [Read more...]

The Wolf Is At the Door—Sharing Money in Divorce

An elderly Cherokee Native American was teaching his grandchildren about life. He said to them, “A fight is going on inside me. It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves. One wolf is evil—he is fearful, angry, jealous and negative. … [Read more...]

What Is the Number One Source of Marital Conflict?

Before you read further, pause for a moment and consider your answer. Words like communication, money, religion, and relationship might come to mind. All of these would be accurate and typical responses. And yet, embedded in each of these … [Read more...]

Mommy and Daddy Don’t Live Together Anymore

I often ask clients what they think their children understand about why they are living separately. What the parents say to the children may be far different from what the children actually hear and understand. The Child's View of … [Read more...]

Some of the Most Beautiful Gifts Come in Ugly Wrapping Paper

Over the many years I have helped clients end their marriages, I am frequently the only one in the room holding the possibility of their future happiness. Regardless of why the marriage is ending, there is always sadness and mourning. It’s not … [Read more...]

Three Tips for the Winter Solstice–and Living Through a Divorce

Ending a marriage can be like your own personal winter solstice. It can be among the darkest days of your life, feeling as if the cold will never end. But nature is a good teacher. The shortest, darkest day in December is followed by days that … [Read more...]

The Five Stages of Divorce

Many people liken the end of a marriage to a death, and, in many respects, that is accurate. It is the end of a dream and a vision that had sustained you for a long time. There have been many comparisons to the five stages of death described by … [Read more...]

Why Divorce Mediation Works

When you hear the word “mediation,” what do you think of? Most people connect it to making peace or compromising or resolving a conflict with the help of someone. Mediation is used for working through many topics such as international problems, labor … [Read more...]