Divorce Support: Solid Sources of Practical Advice

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Divorce Support and Advice Resources - BJ Mediation ServicesDivorce can be overwhelming because it affects every area of your life: emotions, finances, legal issues, children, health, friendships and family, work, and more. It can be hard to sort through all the divorce advice that’s out there.

This post lists a few books, web sites, and workshops that provide good answers for the questions that divorce generates.

These resources can help you organize your thoughts and plans.

Unless otherwise specified, the resources support both men and women and are nationally available. For information on additional Rochester-based resources, please visit BJ’s Resources page.

As always, please consult your attorney or other relevant professional before taking action based on these resources.

Books About Divorce

BJ’s Resources page provides recommendations for books on the subjects listed below. Also check your local library system’s online catalog, or call your local branch’s information desk for other book ideas.
The Divorce Process
Coping Emotionally with Divorce
Children and Divorce
For Children About Divorce
The Economics of Divorce
Relationships
Conflict Management

Web Sites: The Divorce Process

Because divorce laws differs from state-to-state, be careful about the advice you read in online sites. Most sites specify the state they are writing about, such as in these sites: Michigan, Florida, New York, etc.

Finding Divorce Information by State

One of the most comprehensive and authoritative sites concerning state divorce laws is DivorceNet by Nolo. Click your state in the list. The state page will also direct you to state child custody and alimony laws.

A Google Search
Google can also direct you to good resources, but again, be careful about whether the site’s information is relevant in your state.

To search Google, open Google in your browser, put your cursor in their search box, and type a phrase like the suggestions below, but without the quotes and parentheses:

  • “divorce in (fill in state)”
  • “divorce court in (fill in state)”: Most state divorce courts have their own web site.
  • “legal separation in (fill in state)”
  • “child support in (fill in state)”
  • “alimony in (fill in state)”
  • “divorce workshops in (fill in your town or city)”
  • “finances workshops in (fill in your town or city)”

The first page or two of Google’s search results should be more than enough to locate a site helping you understand the local divorce laws as they apply to you and find a related workshop nearby (if one exists).

About Mediation and Divorce

These web sites provide excellent information about divorce mediation versus litigation.
Divorce Mediation Basics by Nolo.com
Divorce Mediation FAQ by Findlaw.com

About Children and Divorce

HelpGuideorg: Children and Divorce: A comprehensive article about almost every aspect of a divorce where children are concerned. It has other excellent articles related to the topic as well.

Scientific American: Is Divorce Bad for Children?: This 2013 article has answers to some of parents’ biggest worries about the effect of divorce on their children.

About Finances During and After Divorce

Divorce and Money by WomansDivorce.com: Just about every aspect of finances during and after divorce is discussed here.

22 Tips to Transform Your Financial Life After a Divorce: Another very comprehensive list. It might feel overwhelming, but take it one step at a time.

About Emotions During Separation and Divorce

The Psychological Stages of Divorce” by Diane Neumann: A good overview what to expect emotionally.

The Emotional Stages of Divorce: Another good article that starts earlier in the process, before separation has been brought up by either party.

Workshops: The Divorce Process

Divorce 101 Workshops Provided by BJ Mann (Rochester NY)

Through Rochester-area school district Continuing Education programs, BJ offers the evening program, “Divorce 101,” in which she provides facts and clarifies myths about the process of marital separation and divorce in New York State. There is a small registration fee, and BJ provides a handout.

Neutral Ground (Rochester NY)

This is an independent, peer-support organization for the formerly married (separated/divorced, widowed) and those ending a significant relationship. For more information, please visit Neutral Ground’s web site or read our overview of Neutral Ground.

WIFE.org Divorce Workshops

The Women’s Institute for Financial Education (WIFE) is the oldest non-profit organization dedicated to providing financial education to women in their quest for financial independence. Their web site has a wealth of practical information on every aspect of personal finance. While written for women, the vast majority of it also applies to men.

Their Second Saturday divorce workshops are a nationally renowned seminar series that helps women (and some men) navigate what could be the loneliest, most frightening, challenging time in their lives. From their web site, “you will get answers from seasoned professionals, engage with women just like you, become inspired and empowered, and discover resources that will enable you to move forward with confidence.”

Workshops: Managing Finances

Virtually every city and town has businesses and nonprofit groups that offer workshops on managing your finances. The following resources can help you locate a workshop near you.

Consumer Credit Counseling Service

This is usually a nonprofit agency operating in your area that offers free workshops on budgeting, understanding your credit score and more. To give you an idea of what to look for, here is the CCCS of Rochester web site.

Financial Workshops Through Your Local Library System

Here in Rochester we are blessed with an interconnected regional library system with libraries that provide a wide range of free or low-cost workshops on a wide range of subjects.

Ask Professionals and Friends

Ask your banker, accountant, financial planner, and attorney if they know of any good workshops in your area. Most people in those fields make a point of collecting such information to be of service to their clients. Your friends could also know of good resources, especially anyone you know who recently went through a divorce.

WIFE.org: Money Clubs

WIFE also provides information on how to start and run your own Money Club. WIFE doesn’t provide information on active clubs because of privacy. Instead, they provide free help on how to start your own club, even if it’s with just one other person. There is also a related free Facebook group which women and men can join: Money Clubs Online Group.


Photo credit: CanStockPhoto

About the Author: Mary Anne Shew is a career and life coach, business consultant, web site designer, and copywriter. For more information, please visit www.BizVitality.com.

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