Your Divorce Checklist
Divorce is complicated. The following is a comprehensive list of issues that need to be discussed so that the final divorce papers are thorough and complete. Not all items on the list will be relevant to you. This list is the same whether you use mediation or work with attorneys.
Keep in mind other issues might arise that are not listed here. Every couple’s situation is unique, so if you don’t see a topic here that you want to discuss, make a note to talk about it during your consultation.
Going through your divorce with the guidance of an experienced divorce mediator allows you to settle all of your issues quickly, peacefully, and privately.
If you would like a printed version of this list, use your browser’s print option.
Planning to Divorce
- Schedule a free consultation to learn about the process as it pertains to your circumstances.
- Educate yourself about divorce. For example, explore my website, and sign up to receive my blog posts.
- Start to think about your living options (location; rent/buy; apartment/house, etc.)
- Consider renting a post office box for personal mail
- Start a divorce file for important paperwork: Make copies for your spouse and divorce professionals as needed
- If you and your spouse share an email account, obtain your own separate account. Google Gmail is a great option. Notify friends and family of the change
- Change the passwords to your own social media accounts
Parenting and Schedule
- Telling the children about living separately
- Children’s “Bill of Rights” when parents divorce
- The daily parenting plan: When the day begins and ends
- Timeline for living separately
- Holidays: When they begin and end, and when they are shared
- Vacation: How many days annually, and how selected
- Who will be with the kids when the other parent is not available (right of first refusal)
- Sick days: Who will care for the children
- Hospitalization of child or parent: How it will be handled
- Childcare: How to select a provider and location
- Selection of schools: Where the child will attend
- Transportation: How are the children transported to each parent’s home, to school, and to extracurricular activities
- Introducing children to significant others as you begin new relationships
Legal Custody of Children
- Joint, shared, or sole custody
- Designation and implication of primary residential parent
- Decision-making: Which are joint decisions and which are made by each parent individually
- Children’s birth certificates, passports, and other legal documents
- Permission to travel with the children
- Access to the children when not parenting
- Expectations regarding religious education and customs
- Death of either parent
- Relocation of a parent
- Substance abuse or addictions
- Surnames and parent designation of Mom and Dad
- Pet custody and expenses
Child Support
- Calculating child support in divorce
- Child support enforcement unit
- New York State Child Support Guidelines
- Proration: Percentage of income of each parent compared to total family income
- When child support begins
- How child support will be paid
- Documentation of income
- Self-employed parent versus a W-2 employee parent
- Child care, health insurance, and uninsured medical expenses
- Other expenses for kids such as extra-curricular expenses and milestone events
- Pre-college private school costs: Tuition, room/board, books, other expenses
- College-related costs: Tuition, room/board, books, other expenses
- Frequency and circumstances for review/modification of child support
The House
- Calculating equity
- How to share the equity
- Removing names from or keeping names on mortgages and titles
- Homeowner’s insurance
- Whether to sell the house
- Funding the house if refinanced
- Funding the house while you’re selling it
- Sole occupancy of house
- When to live separately
- If someone dies while house is jointly titled and mortgaged
Other Assets
- Documentation of all assets
- Retirement funds, stocks, mutual funds, etc.: How to distribute
- Defined pensions: How to divide and value
- Cars, boats, campers: Titles, registrations, and loans
- Household Items: How to distribute and value
- Define separate property
- Valuation dates
- College funds (such as 529 plans)
- Value of business
- Digital assets: Ebooks, music, movies, family photos.
Debts
- Credit cards
- Student loans
- Retirement or pension loans
- Car loans
- Bankruptcy
- Effect of divorce on credit and your credit report
- Shared or separate liability
Spousal Maintenance (Alimony)
- Temporary spousal maintenance vs. post-divorce maintenance
- How much and for how long
- Spousal maintenance guidelines
- Tax implications
- Conditions of terminating or modifying
Miscellaneous
- Changing your last name
- Health insurance for the adults
- Life insurance: Beneficiary amount and designation, for how long
- Taxes: Head of household, dependency allowances, child tax credit, and other tax filing status issues
- Future tax audits and liability
- Wills, health care proxy, and power of attorney updates
- Religious annulment
- Resolving and updating future changes to the separation agreement, enforcement of the agreement
- Social Security
- Sharing family online accounts to manage child’s life and care: Schools, medical records, physician offices, etc.
Mediation and Divorce Process
For more checklists, visit DivorceSource.com.
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